An agricultural corporation in the Midwest was looking for a new advertising agency. Several high-powered agencies made very impressive presentations in order to win the account but none got the bid. A little advertising “shop” in Kansas made the best presentation.
At the beginning of their presentation, the head of the Kansas firm placed a pair of muddy boots on the conference room table. “These boots,” he said, “are our agency’s business philosophy. If you hire us, we’ll get our boots muddy. We will walk your fields with you. We will get as deeply involved in your business as you are. And we will thoroughly understand your problems before we try to create advertising solutions for you.”
The gospel passage you just heard is rather unusual. With this story, Luke tells us that God got his boots muddy by experiencing family life up front. Jesus became one with us. He experienced family life up front. Little else is said in the gospels about Jesus between his infancy and his baptism. This passage provides a glimpse of him and his family. He stayed behind in Jerusalem at the temple while Mary and Joseph traveled home for a day before realizing that he wasn’t in the caravan. Imagine how distraught they were after spending three days looking for him; they finally found him not far from where they last saw him. The end of the gospel says that Jesus returned home where he was obedient and grew in wisdom and favor.
Our focus today is on the family; not just the holy family but ours as well. The importance of family cannot be overstated. The family is where we discover, just as Jesus did, what it means to be human, what our strengths and weaknesses are, where we first experience love and forgiveness, where we learn about relationships, sacrifice, loving and accepting others, the values and attitudes that shape our outlook on life, where we learn to trust, where we learn to handle stress and how to be responsible.
Ultimately, family is where we learn to get along with one another. All these important tasks and habits are hopefully learned in a family that is relatively healthy. No family is perfect but hopefully yours, like mine, was not dysfunctional.
A family that is seriously dysfunctional teaches a lot of things that are not so helpful for creating lasting and thriving relationships.
What is the big difference between a healthy family and one that is dysfunctional? Sirach provides us with the clues. Whoever honors his parents not out of fear but out of love is blessed with a healthy family. On the other hand, whoever obeys one’s parents out of fear is in a dysfunctional setting. No parent should create a relationship where the child feels unloved or is afraid. The parent who loves creates the setting that prompts their children to honor and obey them with respect rather than fear.
The child who grows up loved is prompted when the time comes to take care of the elderly parent and is prompted to be considerate, for that parent’s kindness has not been forgotten.
Years ago, I read the classic, The Road Less Traveled, by Scott Peck. I never forgot the point he made that we parent our children in the manner we were parented. That makes sense. We study many subjects in school, but rarely do we take a class in parenting; instead, we recall how our parents treated us. Ideally, we were treated with much love and respect, which prompts us to treat our children likewise.
The holy family was holy because God’s will was first in their lives. Luke wants us to know that. In his gospel, he pointed out many instances where Joseph and Mary did what God asked of them, whether through the message of an angel or by their fidelity to Jewish customs. You could say they went the extra mile in doing so. That was no easy trip for them from Nazareth to Jerusalem yet they did this every year. What we could do in a matter of hours would take them days on foot. They didn’t hesitate to do what God asked of them.
How willing are we to follow their example? Our willingness to do what God wants inspires us to follow Paul’s advice: put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another and over all these virtues, put on love. Do this, Paul tells us, and the peace of Christ will control your hearts.
Speaking of families, don’t forget your parish family. We not only belong to our families, we also belong to God’s family. As John tells us we are all children of God. Just as the holy family journeyed to Jerusalem every year, we journey together toward a closer union with Christ through the celebration of the Mass and living out of our faith by carrying on the works of Christmas.
Jesus came in the flesh to firsthand live our moments of joy, grief, despair, anger and fear. He knew what we would need when he foresaw the role of Church and worship in our lives, namely an opportune setting for us to cultivate relationships that foster our spiritual growth. In the coming year I look forward to seeing many families come to be fed at the Lord’s table so that they too will grow in wisdom and age and favor before God and the world around them.