One evening, a family went out to dine at a local restaurant. Everyone was given a menu, even Molly who was 8 years old. Since the conversation was an “adult” one, Molly sat there feeling ignored. When the waiter took their orders, he came to her last. “And, what would you like to eat, young lady?” he asked. Molly answered, “I will have a hamburger, French fries, and a large root beer.”
Her mother spoke up, “No. She will have a small salad with low fat dressing, baked chicken, carrots and rice.” Her father added, “And milk to drink.” The waiter looked at Molly and asked, “Would you like catsup or mustard on your hamburger?” She said, “Catsup with some fried onions on top, please. Oh, and put a very small piece of lettuce on top to please my parents. Thank you very much!” As the waiter walked away, Molly turned to her family and said, “You know what? He thinks I am real.”
How many of us have heard or even used the phrase, “Children should be seen and not heard?” That demeaning phrase implies that children are of little worth, which was the mindset in biblical times. That is just the opposite of how Jesus felt. To him, children are as real and to be loved as much as any one else.
Despite the adage that one shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, many people are judged in terms of what they do. We tend to look up to doctors, lawyers, bankers, ministers etc. while we don’t exactly admire garbage collectors, janitors, or used car dealers. That is rather unfair and silly, isn’t it? All people are worthy of our respect, regardless of their occupation.
Yet status seems to be a big deal for many people. Even the apostles were hung up on the matter of status, debating among themselves as to who was the greatest. Inwardly, Jesus must have been quite frustrated yet he quietly told them once again that serving others was more important than seeking honor and power for oneself. That is where greatness is to be found.
Despite the good news that God loves every one unconditionally, life for many people can be a continual struggle between acceptance and rejection. Do you recall the movie, Four Seasons, produced by Alan Alda back in 1981? The film dealt with three middle aged couples who vacationed together each season. They appeared to be close friends until one couple divorced, which changed the dynamics of their relationships. Much of the film dealt with the ensuing tensions of rejection and acceptance for the now divorced friend and his new wife by the other two couples. In the end, acceptance won over rejection but at times you wondered as the story unfolded.
We can be so quick to reject someone for the most trivial of reasons, forgetting that the experience isn’t so trivial for the person who is being rejected. What do we gain from rejecting others or not respecting them? Perhaps a momentary boost to our egos but doing that doesn’t bring us any closer to God.
When she gave me an autographed copy of her novel, Hanta Yo, Ruth Hill invited me to walk through the pages of her story based on the Sioux Indians “in their moccasins.” Her advice is timeless and relevant for any one to consider. How often do we think to put ourselves in the shoes of someone whom we are putting down or rejecting? Do we consider the pain of being rejected ourselves before choosing to reject someone else?
Jesus certainly did. Instead of rejecting his companions when he found them bickering among themselves after telling them that he would soon be rejected, Jesus reached for a child nearby and told them, “Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.” Consider the flip side of his advice. “Whoever rejects this child, rejects me; whoever rejects me, rejects not me, but the One who sent me.” He uses a child to speak of anyone who is powerless, helpless or vulnerable.
Jesus tells us that the greatest commandment is to love God and to love one another. You can’t do one without doing the other. By caring for the presence of Christ in the child, indeed in anyone we meet, we are caring for Christ. Jesus is inviting his followers to be accepting of others just as God, his Father, is accepting of us in spite of what we do or fail to do. We cannot claim to be accepting Jesus into our lives so long as we have the audacity to deliberately reject anyone in our midst.
If perchance, you are claiming innocence, bear in mind the subtle presence of evil in our midst is a reality we have to deal with constantly. Both of today’s other readings illustrate the result of the refusal to welcome or accept the goodness of another person. Rejection, not God, is the cause of human suffering.
The famed Russian novelist, Alexander Solzhenitsyn once wrote, “If only it were so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?” Elsewhere while reflecting on religion, he noted, “It is impossible to expel evil from the world in its entirety but it is possible to constrict it within each person.”
Welcoming and respecting everyone is a sign that we have begun to constrict the evil that can be found lurking in our hearts.