Our lives are full of relationships. Good relationships nourish us, giving us joy and much satisfaction, but sooner or later, something can go wrong and someone gets hurt. Instead of forgiveness the name of the game we often play when we have been victimized is getting even. In good conscience, we defend that mindset with the line from Leviticus that Jesus even quotes in today’s gospel, “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” (Lev. 24:17-20) but if any of his lines is worth remembering, it’s the one we just heard, “You shall notbear hatred for your brother or sister in your heart.”
We are often told, “Don’t get angry. Get even.” Ah yes, we are all too ready to sacrifice peace of mind and loving relationships on the altar of “getting even,” but in the end, do we really feel any better? These feelings of bitterness and hatred can actually cause us even greater suffering.
In this gospel passage, we find Jesus challenging our way of thinking. He is saying, “To return good for good is human; to return good for evil is divine.” He is reminding us that anger is but one letter short of DANGER. The best way for us to get even is to forgive just as we have been forgiven.
Jesus practiced what he preached. He forgave the people who crucified him and even made excuses for them. As he was dying on the cross, he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Jesus knows that when we have been hurt, we want to get even and we tend to hold the grudge if that doesn’t work. In either instance, the pain persists. His solution is simple. We are called to forgive. “Oh, no, I can’t do that,” may be our first reaction but let’s get something straight. Forgiving is some thing we must do for our own good. We need to forgive in order to get on with the rest of our lives.
I recall years ago when Avis, then the second largest car rental agency in the country, advertised the slogan, “We try harder.” The message said to the customer that they would go the extra mile in service. That is what I hear Jesus calling us to do in this gospel passage. As his followers, we are expected to go the extra mile in extending forgiveness; to try harder at practicing the art of forgiveness.
The intent behind this final bit of wisdom from the Sermon on the Mount is not to saddle us with an impossible task, but toprovide us with an additional blueprint, along with the beatitudes and the commandments, for experiencing the peace of God’s kingdom. So long as we refuse to forgive, we remain the victims, for an unforgiven injury binds us to a time and place that someone else has chosen, holding us trapped in a past moment bound by old feelings of ill will.
I imagine any psychiatrist would agree with me that we have a need to forgive and love our enemies for love can be a healing balm for the wounded heart. Should we remain angry, we will sooner or later become sick, and possibly end up in a psychiatrist’s office as a paying customer.
Martin Luther King, Jr., once noted, “Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life, love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life, love illumines it.”
Hatred, a very dangerous thing, must be kept for a cause such as injustice or intolerance, not for an individual. That was the key to the success of Nelson Mandela, who spent 27 years in prison. When he was finally released, he had every reason to feel bitter and to seek revenge. Instead, he came out seeking reconciliation with the leaders of the regime that had imprisoned him. Thus, he became the cornerstone of a new South Africa. Mandela suffered much yet he achieved the only triumph worth achieving; that of not being soured by his suffering or tempted to surrender his dignity by seeking revenge. If he had harbored bitterness instead, who knows what would have happened.
When we hate, we expend far more energy than in any other emotion. Imagine how much better our world would be if we put that energy to work building up God’s kingdom instead.
When Jesus speaks of loving our enemies, he is talking about those close to us: in our families, our community, our parish, our work place or school; someone who is making life difficult for us. Who are the people whom we seek to avoid at all cost, whom we find hard to forgive, who awaken feelings of unease, fear, and anger that can easily turn into hatred?
Our enemies are not those who hate us, but those whom we hate. When we discover our capacity to hate and harm, it can be humbling. Too often we have found ourselves regretting our outbursts of vengeance and ill will that have done irreparable harm. We learn then that the problem is not with the other person but in ourselves. When we face the chaos within us, we can begin to travel the road to freedom.
Jesus’ command to love our enemies is a radical rejection of violence in any form. He is calling on us instead to respect the dignity of others. No matter how much someone hurts us, we must not let bitterness close our hearts to that person. Admittedly, returning love for hate is one of the most difficult things one can do, but doing so makes sense. As Christians, instead of seeking vengeance or bearing grudges, we must try to imitate the generosity of God in our readiness to forgive for unless we endeavor to imitate the embracing love of God, we are no better than anyone else.