Having been a pastor here for 15 years, I have seen people leave for any number of reasons and while that concerns me, it doesn’t surprise me. Some may leave even now because of the latest clergy scandal. Before they do, they may want to consider this advice from AB Fulton Sheen, “Judge the Catholic Church not by those who barely live the spirit, but by the example of those who live closest to it.”
As we heard, many disciples took issue with what Jesus said in last Sunday’s gospel, “Unless you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you.” That notion was so repulsive that they grumbled, “This saying is hard; who can accept it?” In turn Jesus asked, “Does this shock you?” He then foretells his ascension, noting that despite all he has said and done, “There are some of you who do not believe.” Consequently, many of his disciples left. Jesus then asked the twelve, “Do you want to leave?” Peter answered, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy one of God.”
Like Peter and the apostles, we often find ourselves at cross roads, pondering which fork in the road to take. Sometimes we look back on the choices we have made, be it the person we married, the career we pursued, the place we call home or the faith that we profess and wonder if we made the right choice. In moments like that, the words of Robert Frost come to mind. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference.”
Forty years ago when I heard that a deaf priest was ordained in Maryland, I was prompted to reconsider the notion of becoming a priest. A decade earlier I was turned down because back then the Church didn’t ordain men with a profound hearing loss or any other severe limitation. In the years that followed, I had several close relationships in college and graduate school but they all ended before marriage was seriously considered. One evening when I was 29, my mother asked me if I was ever going to settle down and get married. Imagine her surprise when I replied that I was planning to enter the seminary.
More than once while in the seminary, I wondered about taking this “road less traveled by.” After all, most young adults get married, hoping they have found the person who will be their life long companion. I often wrestled with the question of celibacy and what the Church was asking of me. When I was ordained, Archbishop Hunthausen asked me, “Are you resolved to remain celibate for the sake of the kingdom and in lifelong service to God and mankind?” I replied, “I am.” Despite the many times the devil has tempted me since, by the grace of God, I have honored my promise to remain celibate and chaste.
I had little idea what was in store for me that day, just as few married couples have any notion of what was in store for them when they exchanged vows on their wedding day. I imagine that most priests and married couples would agree that traveling down the road they chose has made all the difference in their lives.
Every journey begins with that first step. When Joshua gathered the tribes of Israel, he challenged them, “If it does not please you to serve the Lord, decide today whom you will serve. As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” That is a choice we make daily. Whom will we serve? Who is the god we serve?
For some, it is money, for others, it is power. In other words, ultimately the god they serve is themselves. Focused on their wants, they often care little about others. That attitude was so commonplace that Paul was prompted to speak his mind and share his thoughts on marriage. Some wives take offense to his opening remarks, tuning out the rest of this passage. Do they realize that Paul is telling both spouses to be subordinate to one another?
Approaching marriage by placing the needs of one’s spouse ahead of his or her own is fundamental to the vitality of any marriage. The husband or wife who dominates the other is abusing that person and likely got married with the mindset, “What’s in it for me?” rather than “How can I serve the love of my life, whom I chose to journey down this road with?”
Every couple should remind themselves often of the vows that they took, just as every priest and deacon needs to remind himself of the vows they took at their ordination so that, as today’s collect said, “amid the uncertainties of this world, our hearts may be fixed on that place where true gladness is found.” Sadly that is not everyone’s prayer.
Sexual abuse of a minor, rather it is done by someone who is ordained or not, is evidence that not every person has their heart fixed on where true gladness can be found. The scandal of some bishops, by not appropriately dealing with the misconduct of their clergy, thus failing to be subordinate to their flock, is a tragic testimony that they too aren’t really tasting and seeing the goodness of the Lord. It seems that both are focused on serving themselves, not God.
So who is the god we serve? I hope that your presence here suggests that the god whom you choose to serve is not yourself, but Jesus, the Holy one of God.