Have you ever been engaged? If so, I invite you to think back to the experience. Most likely the person whom you were engaged to commanded your undivided attention. You could not imagine life without that person whom you were planning to marry.
Now that you are married, do you find yourself relating to your spouse with the same enthusiasm you had when you were engaged? Are you as passionately in love as you were during your engagement? If so, your spouse is indeed a true friend.
Or might you be what I would label, “not engaged?” The zest has faded out of your marriage. You still love your spouse, but gone is the passion. Instead, other interests and people command more of your attention than your spouse does.
Worst yet, are you “actively disengaged?” In lieu of affirmations, negativity is eating away at your relationship. Bickering, insults, infidelity, abuse of any kind have drained the marriage of whatever real love there was during the engagement.
We usually associate the word, engaged, with the time before a wedding, but the word has many more meanings, such as to attract and hold the attention of, to win over, to involve, to become occupied. Hence, to be engaged can be applied to other situations besides betrothal, such as one’s faith.
On the eve of Pentecost, the apostles had yet to be engaged to their faith. They hungered for the living water that Jesus had promised while still with them. But now, he was gone, having ascended into heaven, so what were they to do? On Pentecost, they were in the upper room, hiding in fear, when the Holy Spirit filled their hearts. No longer afraid, they were empowered to venture out and proclaim the good news at any cost, including their own lives to anyone who would listen. In the early church, those who were baptized devoted themselves to the apostles’ instruction and the communal life. With its members fully engaged, the church grew in great numbers.
Today, we gather because people in our past were also engaged in proclaiming the good news; they invited us into this faith community. By belonging, we came to believe, but not everyone has. You and I know Catholics who have not remained in the faith. According to a recent survey conducted by the Archdiocese, only 88 out of every 100 infants baptized over the past 20 years received first communion, 35 out of every 100 eligible teenagers were confirmed, and 49 of every 100 Catholics baptized as infants were married in the Catholic Church.
In that same survey, over 3000 parishioners were asked to describe the faith of their adult children. One third are practicing Catholics, 45 percent attend Mass occasionally, 11 percent have joined other denominations, and in the case of the remaining 9 percent, their parents were not sure of their faith practice. If you have siblings or children who no longer practice their faith, you aren’t alone. For any number of reasons, being Catholic made little or no difference in their lives. They weren’t engaged.
Does being Catholic make a difference in your life? If one has endeavored to be engaged, that is, to live as Christ lived, the answer would be, “Yes!” Ideally, every Catholic strives to be holy. That is done by centering one’s life on a faith community and celebrating its many sacramental encounters with Jesus. By belonging, they come to believe and deepen their faith in Christ.
Many think that believing leads to belonging, but not necessarily. Statistics reveal that many Catholics believe but few belong. They are not engaged. Coming to Mass is not a top priority for them, nor is seeking to grow in holiness. They heard the gospel, but did not listen to its message. In effect, their lives have not been impacted by the message of Jesus Christ.
Those who are engaged in their faith are more satisfied with their lives. By living their faith, they invite others, encouraging them “to come and see.” They are more inclined to give, not only of their time but also of their treasure and talent for they see the value of stewardship in their lives. They seek to grow in holiness, not just an hour a week, but throughout the week. Quietly and assuredly, they bring the gospel to others each in their own way.
At a workshop I attended last week, Fr. Dan Mahan noted that in the average parish, 16 percent of us are engaged, 49 percent are not engaged, and the rest are actively disengaged. He called them “cave” people: an acronym for those who “complain about virtually everything.” They are too preoccupied with their own issues to become engaged in the mission of growing in the faith.
How might we all become engaged in our faith? Pentecost provides a clue. God sent the Holy Spirit into our world to continue the presence of his Son, Jesus. In his letter to the Galatians, Paul points out that the fruits of the Spirit can be seen in acts of love, joy, kindness and generosity. If that became our goal to treat everyone in our congregation with love, kindness, joy and generosity, instead of indifference, malice, or any other unchristian conduct, wouldn’t you agree that everyone here would feel as though they truly belong? And if they felt that way, they too would also become engaged in living the faith, seeking to be holy and involved in the parish.
A good starting point would be to banish strangers in our midst. That can be done by introducing yourself after every Mass to someone you do not know. Let us make every person feel welcomed here. In the cursillo movement, we have a saying, “Make a friend, be a friend, then bring a friend to Christ.” Do that and you will enable one more person to become engaged, rather than disengaged in the faith we celebrate together.