Sometime after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a friend in Kentucky. The family showed the retired general what was left of a once majestic tree in the front of their home. The upset wife cried bitterly that the tree’s limbs and trunk had been destroyed by artillery from the Union army. She expected some sympathy for the loss of the beautiful tree or words condemning the hated Union. After a long silence, Lee said, “Cut it down, my dear madam, and forget it.”
Today’s gospel is among the most radical and difficult teachings of Jesus that we find in scripture. What he asks of us is certainly quite different from how society expects us to act. When someone wrongs us, Jesus says to forgive them; if given the opportunity to win at another person’s expense, be compassionate, which is what we found David doing in our first reading. Jesus bluntly tells us to love our enemies. “Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” He doesn’t stop there. Turn the other cheek. Treat others as you would have them treat you. Be merciful and stop judging.
“This is so unrealistic!” Was that your reaction to this gospel passage? Yet Jesus is clear and to the point, challenging us to ponder our approach to living. Life isn’t always a bed of roses. We get into skirmishes and confrontations. Some minor, others not, so what do you do when someone wrongs you? Are you able to forgive, forget and move on? Or do you cling to the hurt, unwilling to let go as was that wife in Kentucky? Jesus urges us to not reciprocate whenever evil is done to us. Do not return violence with violence. To be a disciple of Jesus means having the courage to “cut down” the anger, hatred, despair and distrust that block us from forgiving others, thus enabling justice, peace, and reconciliation to blossom and flourish in our midst.
Henry Ward Beecher, a renowned 19th century preacher offered this insight to those reluctant to heal past hurts. He said, “‘I can forgive, but I cannot forget,’ is only another way of saying, ‘I will not forgive.’ A forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man.”
Nonetheless, some of us are still apt to protest, “There is no way I can forgive that person for what was done to me!” When we choose not to forgive, we are really hurting ourselves. When we forgive, we heal, when we let go, we grow. Alexander Pope said, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” That line may sound like an old cliché, but for the sake of our wellbeing, we mustn’t ignore it.
For a penance, I often urge penitents to slowly say the Lord’s Prayer, and then keep the promise they just made. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those…” If that is hard to do, then ask God for the grace to do so.
The gospel passage isn’t only about forgiveness; it’s about doing the right thing for the right reason in the right way. Those who give to the less fortunate without expecting anything in return give evidence of Christian wisdom. Those who are compassionate to the rejected members of society have grasped Christian wisdom. Those who treat others in the way they want to be treated have understood the universal wisdom behind the golden rule.
For those whose lives are shaped by this wisdom, the command to love one’s enemies is possible. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Far from being the pious injunction of a utopian dreamer, the command to love one’s enemy is an absolute necessity for our survival. Love even for enemies is the key to the solution of the problems of our world. Jesus is not an impractical idealist; he is a practical realist.”
Jesus reveals that the touchstone of the true Christian is treating others the way God treats us. God is kind, merciful and forgiving “even to the ungrateful and the wicked.” We are created in God’s image and since God is love, the more we develop our capacity for love, the more we will mature into what God created us to be.
Jesus isn’t asking the impossible of us. With grace, he empowers and enables us to make what many think of heroic the norm in our approach to living. Do we dare follow his example?
Just as a mature healthy apple tree bears abundant fruit, so a mature, healthy human soul overflows with the spiritual fruits of profound joy, peace, love and enthusiasm. This is what Jesus means when he says, “give, and gifts will be given to you…For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.”