A pebble underfoot can quickly spoil the pleasure of walking around in sandals, painfully distracting one’s attention from the beauty of a beach scene. The same can be said for a word in the midst of a paragraph. In this instance, the word is “subordinate,” mentioned several times in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. In the older translation of the New American Bible, the word had been “submissive,” which turned many people off. Angered by such chauvinist language, many listeners missed the point that Paul was making regarding commitment. Along with Joshua and Jesus, he is challenging us to examine the depth of our commitments.
The husband, Paul points out, is to commit himself just as totally to his wife as Christ committed himself to the Church. You and I know how far Jesus went for the Church and for us; ideally, every husband should do the same for his wife. Spouses cannot form a true marriage if they are jealously guarding their own rights. Each person has to sacrifice something, give up some of their personal prerogatives.
Years ago I read about a husband who did just that. His name was Bill Havens, a member of the US canoe team for the 1924 Olympics. As the time for the games neared, Bill found himself faced with a choice. His wife was expecting their first child. Should he go to Paris for the games or stay home? She insisted that he go; after all, he had been working hard at this for years. After much soul searching, Bill decided to stay home so that he could be at her bedside when their first child was born. Being committed to his wife, Bill knew he had to put his life long dream aside.
The temptation we often face is keep our commitments half heartedly instead of totally. By our actions or lack of actions, we declare what we are really committed to. Joshua knew what his commitment was. He also knew that many who had followed him through the exodus to the Promised Land were not so certain. They were now attracted to the new gods of their neighbors. “If it does not please you to serve the Lord, decide today whom you will serve. As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua could ask the same question of us. Whom do we serve? Our presence suggests that we desire to serve the Lord but how deep is that commitment? Is your presence here at Mass your top priority on any given weekend? Or is your decision to be here or not easily influenced by other things? Are there other gods such as sports that keep you from honoring your commitment to live the Catholic faith?
As I look around each time I preside at Mass, I am mindful of those who are absent for any number of reasons even though they haven’t moved off island. How committed they are to the Eucharist? Could it be that they don’t really understand or value this special gift? Perhaps they are absent for the same reason that prompted many of the disciples to leave. “This sort of talk is hard to endure. How can anyone take it seriously?”
Many of the teachings of our Catholic faith are difficult to accept yet they are, I believe, ultimately intended to bring us to a deeper awareness of God. The more committed we are to learning about our faith, the more readily we can see the wisdom of what is asked of us.
Like the disciples who left his ranks then, many Catholics do so today, living their faith selectively, ignoring what isn’t so convenient. We tend to call that approach to our faith, cafeteria Catholicism. I wonder at what point Jesus may want to ask them, “Do you also want to leave?”
I can easily imagine what Bill Havens, the would-be Olympian, would have said. By the way, there is a sequel to his story that illustrates the impact our commitments can have on those around us.
In 1952, twenty eight years after passing up his chance to participate in the Olympics, Bill received a cablegram from Helsinki, Finland. It read, “Dad, I won. I’m bringing home the gold medal you lost waiting for me to be born.” Yes, Bill’s generous commitment to his wife inspired his son, Frank, to pursue his father’s dream. This is a point I suspect many parents don’t think about often enough.
How readily spouses live out their commitments to one another and to God by living their faith is carefully observed by their children, who in turn will often use their example as a model for honoring their own commitments in life. When we commit ourselves to God or to another person, that decision impacts us and the world around us.
It was clear that Jesus was not the kind of messiah that many people were expecting or chose to accept. As the gospel relates, some of his disciples returned home disappointed. These are hard sayings, who can accept them? Can we? Do we?
The bottom line is this; Jesus is asking us to make a decision which defines our relationship to him and to each other. When faced with the question of remaining committed to our faith, hopefully we can put ourselves in Peter’s sandals who asked, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the holy one of God.”