21st Sunday of Ordinary Time

The theme through these readings prompts the question of staying or leaving. Joshua knew what he was committed to. He also knew that many who had followed him in the desert for 40 years to reach the Promised Land were now attracted to the many gods of their neighbors. “If it does not please you to serve the Lord, decide today whom you will serve. As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” They replied, “We will also serve the Lord, for he is our God.”

As the gospel relates, centuries later, many who heard Jesus decided otherwise, returning to their former way of life. When they left, Jesus asked the apostles, “Do you also want to leave?” Recognizing whom Jesus is, Peter replied, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced you are the holy one of God.”

Like Peter, we are convinced that Jesus is the holy one of God who has the words of eternal life; the one for us to follow and serve, which our presence here suggests, the question that comes to mind is, “How?” The simplest answer I can give you is with love. Such is the message Paul dwells on in his infamous passage to the Ephesians.

I said infamous for the line in the older translation of the lectionary, which told wives to be submissive to their husbands, offended many listeners. Angered by such chauvinism, they would then tune out the rest of Paul’s message, which speaks of total commitment on the part of both husband and wife to each other.

Paul isn’t putting anyone down in this letter nor is he giving husbands the license to degrade, abuse, or control their wives. To the contrary, he is challenging both spouses to examine their fidelity and commitment to one another. Both spouses are to serve one another by striving to respect and put the other person first in their relationships. That was a revolutionary notion then and for some it still is.

I recall when a reporter once asked Nancy Reagan if a successful marriage was a 50-50 proposition. She replied, not so, claiming marriage was a 100-100 proposition. 

For many years I worked in a bookstore south of Tacoma owned by a couple, Tom and Sandy Morris. When I last saw Sandy, she was so ill with dementia that she had no idea who I was, even though we had known each other since 1965. Shortly after that meeting, Tom closed the bookstore to spend all his time caring for Sandy, which he did until he died two years later from cancer. When I celebrated his funeral, I thought, here was a couple I was blessed to know who for more than 30 years gave fully of themselves to one another. They lived their vows for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health until Tom died.

Paul wasn’t a marriage counselor but he understood that marriage could not survive, much less thrive, when one or both spouses are too self-centered to honor their vows. I have known some spouses in my years as a priest who have expressed the need to split with the excuse, “I never have a chance to get a life for myself.” If we remain focused on ourselves, how can we honor any commitment to our spouse, much less to Jesus?

When we hear the words, commitment and fidelity, we might think they are linked only to the faithfulness of spouses to one another. Not so. These readings are telling us that being faithful is a responsibility for all of us, single, widowed or married. At our baptism, we made promises or they were made on our behalf, to remain faithful to Christ.

Breaking commitments and promises bring about sadness. Just ask any child whose parents are divorced. The same holds true when we break our commitment to follow Christ, leave the parish and no longer practice the faith.

Making a commitment to follow Christ is no easier for us today than it was for Peter and the other apostles. Our priorities may become centered elsewhere, but do we ever ask ourselves if they will lead us to everlasting life or enrich our relationship with Christ?

For any number of reasons, I have seen once faithful Catholics leave the church, opting to forgo the Eucharist. The choice they make, like the many disciples who parted their ways in Jesus’ times, may be satisfying in the present moment but do they find themselves in a more intimate relationship with God by forsaking the Eucharist?

Saying yes to Jesus as Peter did and remaining committed to the teachings of our Catholic faith means striving to better understand what we profess to believe. We cannot live off stale bread or expect a marriage to survive on yesterday’s memories.

Whom do we serve? Who is our God? These are questions we must ponder daily for each day we make new decisions to stay with Christ or leave. Our presence here suggests that Christ is our God and we are here to serve him, but do our actions through the week testify to that? Or are there other gods that keep us from honoring our commitment to fully live our Catholic faith? We can, like Peter, recognize Jesus for who he truly is; not bread and wine, but the way to eternal life that no one else can offer us.