A burglar was trying to sell an exquisite rug. “Who will give me a hundred dollars for this carpet?” he shouted at anyone passing by. He soon found an eager buyer. After the sale, a bystander, aware of the value of the rug, approached the seller and asked, “Why didn’t you solicit more for that priceless rug?”
“Is there a number higher than one hundred?” asked the seller. His conception limited his awareness and his action. The same could be said for the apostles. Their conception of themselves limited their awareness and their actions along with their awareness of what Jesus might be able to do.
They had some hope that he would change the world they lived in, envisioning Jesus as a military hero who would restore the kingdom of Israel to its former glory by defeating the Romans. They had no idea what they were really in for. Their conception of the Messiah was far too limited for them to grasp who Jesus truly was.
For this reason, Jesus took them out of their world, the world they knew so very well, out of the relationships they were accustomed to, away from their familiar surroundings. He took them to the top of a high mountain and once they were there, he started to change.
First his clothing, then himself, transparent yet opaque, white yet full of color, while heavenly beings appeared, Elijah and Moses. The apostles heard them conversing about the coming change that would lead to a transformed world.
Peter, James and John did not know what to say. Taken by surprise, Peter mumbled about setting up three tents. Then, to top it all, a cloud cast a shadow over them and they heard a voice, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.”
Then looking around, everything seemed back to normal. Jesus was standing there, just like they had seen him so often. But now they saw him in a different light, for their conception of him and their notion of Messiah had changed.
Six days earlier Jesus had predicted for the first time that the Son of Man would be put to death and three days later would rise again. Peter rebuked him for saying that; in turn Jesus chastised him, “Your mind is not on the things of God but on the things of humans.” Along with James and John, Peter needed this eye opening experience to broaden his conception of the Messiah.
In this Lenten season, perhaps we also need an eye opening experience to better understand who Jesus is for judging by our faith, our conception of God is limited.
Faith, like a roller coaster, has its ups and downs; mountains and valleys. In other words, there are times when our faith burns bright and times when our faith flickers and nearly goes out. Let me illustrate.
In today’s gospel, the faith of Peter, James, and John is bright and strong. But in due time, their faith would flicker and almost fail. That happens in the Garden of Gethsemane, following the Last Supper. Once again Peter, James and John were there with Jesus as he prayed that he would be spared the impending passion. Instead of being attentive to Jesus, the three apostles fell asleep.
Shortly afterwards, Judas arrived in the garden with a large crowd to betray him. The three apostles, whose faith was so strong in today’s gospel, panicked, left him, and fled. Worse yet, Peter later denied knowing Jesus three times. Soon after, however, he was quite remorseful.
Like the apostles, our faith goes through high points and low points. When we are experiencing a high point, our faith is strong and bright. During such moments, we feel so close to Jesus that we can touch him. In moments like this, we truly feel the triune presence of God with the Father embracing us with unconditional love and the Holy Spirit pouring wisdom upon us.
When we experience a low point, our faith flickers and almost goes out, like the disciples’ faith did in the garden of Gethsemane. During those low points, Jesus seems to have lost his fight with Satan and we are more apt to sin. The Father seems to have left us as orphans and we feel ignored. The Holy Spirit has become a distant memory.
When the moments of darkness arise, recall the example of Abraham in today’s first reading. His faith flickered and almost failed him when God asked him to sacrifice his son, Isaac. However pained he felt as he set out to do what God asked of him, he still trusted God and God didn’t let him down, blessing him beyond his wildest dreams.
Does our limited conception of God prevent us from having that same divine encounter and believing that we will be blessed beyond our wildest dreams? The challenge of Lent is dying to self. Oh yes, we like to hold on to our selfishness and self-centeredness. Dying to self calls us to surrender to God, just as Abraham did, being willing to sacrifice everything, even our future, knowing that something beyond our wildest dreams awaits us. Only when we embrace such a total surrender can we begin to fathom the glory of the mountaintop as the apostles did, As Paul notes, won’t the God who did not spare his only son “give us everything else along with him?” Remain faithful and God will reward you with the life that he has promised to those who love him.