I was seventeen when my father died unexpectedly of a heart attack. I can still remember the moment when the call came from the hospital that he was dead.
That morning, nearly forty years ago, I dealt with death up front for the first time. Aunts, uncles and grandparents had died but they didn’t live nearby. I knew that I would never see them again but this was different. Dad would not be home for dinner that night. I would not see him around the house ever again. I had to imagine my father leaving on another trip, this time with a one way ticket, not into oblivion but to eternal life.
My father’s death comes to mind because you just heard the gospel passage proclaimed at his funeral. I remember vividly hearing the words, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, even though he dies, will live, and he who lives and believes in me will never die.” Until then, those words had never hit home but now I had to believe them. I just had to.
Face it, death is a subject that few of us care to talk about. But the day will come when we will never see another sunrise or look upon the faces of those we love. As common as death is, we use cosmetic words to soften its blow by saying so and so has passed away or has expired like a magazine subscription. Many of us have lost friends and loved ones due to terminal illnesses and fatal accidents. With good intention, others frequently encourage us to accept the outcome as though “It’s God’s will.”
I cannot believe that God would will the pain of any illness or accident on anyone. Be it the congestive heart failure my mother endured or the slow paralyzing death my friend, Jock, sustained from Lou Gehrig’s disease, or the bouts of cancer that have claimed the lives of friends and family in my lifetime. Nor can I believe that God would will for anyone to die traumatically as two teenagers did recently in a traffic accident not far from here, or in an act of random violence like what happened last weekend on Capitol Hill, or any other tragedy that disrupts the lives of those who survive.
To suggest that the appointed manner and time of my death is God’s will is to claim that God has control over my destiny. But what about our free will? For our love to be real, God gives us free will, which allows us the freedom to do much with our lives, both good and bad, including making choices that impact our health and well-being in this lifetime and our destiny in the lifetime to come.
Any cardiologist today would tell me that my parents ultimately dug their own graves by the manner in which they lived their lives, exercising little, smoking heavily, and eating a poor diet until the damage was done. That cannot always be said for the victims of other illnesses but possibly their own will put them in the wrong place at the wrong time, making them vulnerable to whatever infected them.
The same could be said for the victims of most accidents. Being in a given spot at the wrong time can put us at the mercy of others or of factors beyond our control. Once while driving northbound on I-5 near Everett, a car skidded out of control across three lanes right in front of me. Had I been there seconds earlier, I would have likely been hit broadside or even head-on.
Sooner or later, death will be our common experience. If the reaction of Jesus to the death of his close friend, Lazarus, is any indication, God does not take any delight in this reality of life but never wanting to let go of us, God extends the promise of everlasting life to those who believe, as did Martha, in the resurrection. That we are destined to live forever has always been a tenacious belief of every Christian. The catechism puts it this way, “We firmly believe, and hence we hope that, just as Christ is truly risen from the dead and lives forever, so after death the righteous will live for ever with the risen Christ and he will raise them up on the last day.” (CCC 989)
The story of Lazarus is in fact our story for his name literally means, “helpless.” There are moments in our lifetime when we feel utterly helpless and dying is likely to be one of them. That is how Jesus found Lazarus and as we heard he restored his friend to new life.
And that is what we believe he has done for every righteous person since then. In Masses for the dead, we hear the lines, “Lord, for your faithful people, life is changed, not ended. When the body of our earthly dwelling lies in death we gain an everlasting dwelling place in heaven.” As St. Theresa of Avila said, “I am not dying; I am entering life.”
All of us, whether baptized or about to be baptized, should be uplifted by the claim Jesus makes in today’s gospel, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he should die, will come to life; and whoever is alive and believes in me will never die.” imagine Jesus posing the question to us that he asked Martha, “Do you believe this?” With her, let us each say, “Yes, Lord, I have come to believe that you are the Messiah.”
We need not fear the moment when death arrives for this will be, to borrow a line from Charles Dickens, the best of times. Unbounded by our earthly restraints, we will be free at last to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.
Jesus brings us hope in place of despair and light in place of darkness. His words should remove whatever fear of dying we have for he is giving us the promise of everlasting life.